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Hashing jokes!

Email jokes to Casual Friday

Q: What do you call a virgin hasher on a waterbed?
A cherry float.

Q: What did the sign on the door of the hash whorehouse say?
Beat it wanker -- we're closed.

Q: Why do walruses go to harriette Tupperware parties?
To find a tight seal.

Q:What's the difference between harrier sin and shame?
It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

Q: What's the speed limit of sex on trail?
68; at 69 you have to turn around.

Q: Why did Plush Toy get thrown out of the toy box?
He kept sitting on Pinocchio's face, and moaning, "Lie to me!"

Q: Why is sex at a hashing party like a bridge game?
You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

Q:What's the definition of macho?
Running a hash the day of your vasectomy.

Q: What does a Christmas tree and the married hashmaster have in common?
Their balls are just for decoration.

Plush Toy called Yoda and asked, "Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

"Yes, Plush Toy, that's true," answered Yoda.

"And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries, is that true, Yoda?"

"Sure is, Plush Toy, but why do you ask?"

"Cause I was thinkin', maybe I can sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've been waken' up with."

Q: What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over to get a beer out of the cooler during down-downs?
Doughnuts.

A hasher came up with a new invention, a vibrating tampon.
That way a harriette can be at her best when she is at her worst.

Q: What does an old harriette's snatch taste like?
Depends...

Q: What's the definition of a teenager?
God's punishment for enjoying sex on trail.

Q: What's the definition of eternity?
4 blondes at a decision point.

Q: How do you find a blind harrier in a nudist colony?
It's not hard.

Bearded Clam's Guide to Crapping At Work

All hashers have been there but don't like to admit it. How many of you harriers have kicked back in your cubicle and suddenly felt something brewing down below? As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK CRAP is inevitable. For those who hate crapping at work, following Bearded's Survival Guide for taking a dump at work.

CROP DUSTING:

When farting, you walk really fast around the office so the smell is not in your area and everyone gets a whiff but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled. Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your pants.

ESCAPEE:

A fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a crap in a stall. This usually is accompanied by a sudden wave of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all involved.

JAILBREAK:

When forcing a crap, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.

TURD BURGLAR:

Someone who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a crap at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the TURD BURGLAR leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.

Good luck and happy crapping!